"Working Girls" & Relationships!

I do not think a need to be in a relationship with a person like him. You need to move on. The past is the past and you learn from it. You learn he is not trust worthy and the two of you can not have a happy healthy relationship. So that needs to be the end of it.accept if you don't want to,its all up to you and what you believes there is famous freak girl here that she believe even if she got the best husband in the world she can not stop sleeping around with men .which i think its strange.

Stop thinking about him and questions things about could of been or should of been. Just let it go. Get out with friends and start living your life.

I know what you mean by being really intimate in your own personal relationships. When I start to see a guy that I like in my personal life the sex HAS to be banging! And I have confused it with love before. And I too find myself having relationship problems, mainly because I find it hard to be completely honest about myself concerning this work that I often do. Even when I do let it be known, I minimize it... so that is dishonestly in and of itself and I don't like people to be dishonest with me.

I've also been number one before when there was someone on the side and I have been the one on the side. Both aren't good places to be but being on the side and putting your feelings into it maybe not be the smartest thing to do just a month into it.

Take it slow, hold back on giving your heart just yet...after all he is someone else's man.
Just my 2 cents.
Hugs.

to me love and sex are so far apart....one is physical and one is emotional. Who invent the term making love I think was a way to keep a women belong to one man and ownership. My mother, my father my brother and sisters, my niece all love me very much but it is not about sex.

love is so deeply caring about another person their well being is so important that you would sacrafice things you want in your life to make theirs more comfortable. You comfort their pain and you hold back tears of joy at their triumphs. Love does not have to come from one person in your life and if you are lucky it does not....it comes from many.

Sex is a personal animal like attraction that makes you want to tear apart another with passion. Sex is body chemical aromas that drive you crazy and create a crave for intense physical pleasure.

can some one man or lady love more then one? Yes I think they can but if it is really love it means they have the ability and the means to sacrafice and be there for every one they claim to love. If not the line between love and care about come into play. I care about a lot of people that I dont have the means to love or maybe I would. When you care for some one and disguise it as love....well that is just plain selfish and boarders on ownership and neither real love or care.

to me if you have sex cause love some one it is wrong.....

to me if you love some one cause you have sex it is wrong.....

I marry a man who loves me does that give him the right to stop my physical attraction to some one who dont love me?

Interesting article may help here By Stas Bekman

Can you be in love with one person, and still have sex with another, and still love that other person fully?

The following answer seems to be the wisest, since it let's you answer your own question:

I think that there is no single answer. It depends on what your personal definition of "love" is, and what the personal definitions of "love" are to those involved. For one person, it may be a "Yes" answer, while another may say "True love is total devotion to one person."

That is you have to figure your own definition of love first, then ask the same question your partner and give them time to figure their definition and finally discuss a definition that applies to both of you as a couple.

Whatever the outcome is, it'd be wise to revisit this question every so often to verify that both sides still feel the same way about it.

Some suggested that while sex is possible without love, love is not possible without a healthy sexual relationship:

There has been much discussion of the dichotomy between love and sex. I agree that the two are wildly different things and hold that while love requires a healthy, happy sexual relationship, sex does not require love. I feel that love is too emotional and too intense to be sharable. In this it is very different from sex, which is sharable among several partners and limited only by opportunity and mutual attraction.

Whereas others said that sex is not a requirement for love.
Concerns

If you decided to give that idea a try, you need to be aware of certain risks. The two main concerns raised in that thread were STDs and Just-Sex-turning-into-Love.

STDs (Sexually Transmitted Deceases). This one is very risky nowadays. People hardly ever ask new sex partners whether they carry an STD. Therefore there is a big risk of infecting your loved one. It's possible that you'll have to ask your sex partner to go to a clinic and do a checkup, however there is a chicken and an egg problem here - chances are very low that you will be able to find a sexual partner that will be willing to discuss this issue, before you have even tried to have sex...

The other less riskier to your health concern is having "This is just Sex" turning into "Love". Many claim that sex with others is just a game, however there is a big risk of developing a much stronger relationship beyond sexual one. And while having a strong feeling of love to your partner is often said to be un-shakeable, when things go wrong (and they do every so often), it's too easy to decide to pursue your happiness with your sex partner rather than trying to resolve the momentary problem with your partner.

Why Seeking the Extra?

Some people answer a question with another question:

Why do you seek outside lovers? Do they offer some type of sexual satisfaction your wife can't provide? Is it just the variety of women that you want to experience?

and the answer was:

I think most men who seek sex outside of their marriages do so for the variety. While some might go in for the needed satisfaction arising from partners' lack of interest, low libido or refusal to try or continue with a given practice, I'm not so sure that this is the reason for most extramaritals.

Women also seek similar pleasures and while there were no comments on that side of the story, it's quite certain that these motives apply to women as well.
Is it Possible to Love More than One Person?

Certain people think that it's impossible to love more than one person:

Whether you can love more than one person depends on the definition of love. To some, love is a unique thing which is only shared by one very special person. It is inextricably related to the things you have shared together and is not something that can sprout elsewhere with another, easily. My personal feeling is that loving two or more people simultaneously wouldn't be possible. I do not refer to love such as that for a family member as opposed to an amour.

Personally I think it's possible to love more than one person. This is because you can't quantify and measure feelings. It's just that there are people whom you love more and there are those whom you love less.
Opinions of Those with an Official Lover

Several readers who have have shared their story have both a life partner and a sex partner, here are some of their stories:

Love and sex can most definitely be separated, tho not easily. It is my opinion that love between a man and woman ( such as in marriage or a l-t relationship) cannot really be unless it is part and parcel of a good sexual partnership. That said, there is the question of sex with others while not loving them

I love my wife beyond the power of words to describe yet I see nothing wrong in sexual dalliances with other women. They are sex partners . Period. None could ever challenge my wife. Certainly none could ever replace her. We enjoy a fantastic sexual relationship and have throughout our 35 yrs of marriage. That , however, is beside the point. Sex is not a twinned component of love. In marriage ,it is vitally important as an indicator of it, as a means of reinforcing the pleasure of being with someone, as a method of demonstrating closeness and so much more. Outside that, sex is a means of enjoyment. It is not - nor should it be - a deathless commitment.

When we married, we agreed that sexual fidelity was unimportant. That did not mean that we devalued our marriage. I cannot imagine life without her. I like to believe that she feels likewise. We have so much because we have each other, but that does not exclude sex with others. What we have is OUR bond. It is not breakable and it is of a power beyond us both. Mere sex with someone else cannot replace that or substitute for it, even for a while.

I married my wife 11 years ago and still kept another physical relationship for most of that time - with my wife's consent.

Under normal circumstances, I tend to become emotionally attached to the people I sleep with. My long term "other" routinely reminded me - sometimes bluntly early on - it was just for sex and companionship after work, and persistently kept her distance emotionally, so we never fell in love. We were just very good friends that had sex, cooked each other meals, slept over, but didn't go shopping or take vacation together. We talked about each others family and asked for advice like friends would do. She and my wife met on two different occasions - my wife wasn't comfortable with that, but they exchanged XMAS presents ovr the years. She dated other men intermittently and took vacation with her girl friends that usually involved hooking up with other men. We had great sex, but kissing during sex wasn't much more than being polite. We didn't kiss outside of sex. We bought a second separate bed, so that when I did sleep over at her place, it was in the same room, but a different bed.

And one person has contributed a very interesting view:

Love and sex! Can they be separate?

Yes, and I see you mean this in the context of a long term relationship with the 'benefits' of satellites.

Can you be in love with one person, and still have sex with another, and still love that other person fully?

Yes you can.

I think some caveats/cautions are called for...

I think it helps if the 'satellites' are not also going to be long term relationships, because love can be a fickle thing when a crisis strikes in the primary relationship. A death, disability, severe illness, or major stress (jobs, fighting, whatever) -- these things can push a person to spend more time with the satellite and it can mean the end of the primary relationship. If children are involved, there's so much more, so it goes without saying.

Love can be strong and deep for the primary relationship but sometimes there is no comfort there during a crisis. Confusion and hurt can be disastrous.

Many of us are programmed to be nurturing. As much fun and as casual as a role playing or casual relationship "with benefits" can be, it is possible for emotions to grow, or to grow confused. Especially when there are problems at home.

From another perspective... Longing. Using the term "fetish" loosely here, meaning almost anything sexual that the long term main partner really doesn't 'get' or get into. When there is not the level of rapture, maybe one senses simple tolerance (merely going through the motions) for some aspect of sex -- a great feeling of void can develop. When a man or woman has previously had the experience of a very responsive, uninhibited partner who relishes the same things s/he does, or if one who has longed for it, becomes driven to experience it and samples the goods and is overwhelm with this fulfilment -- Then the home port may never seem to be as 'complete' as it seemed to be.

On the other hand, sometimes sampling the forbidden fruit gives strength, and one is able to carry that magic back to the primary relationship and make it as strong as a fortress.

We are all different, as are our our circumstances.

There really is so much to consider.

I've had friends who have been so very pleased with their poly relationships, but over time, the relationships have failed because the partners ended up having different interpretations of their responsibilities to the primary relationship.

All relationships can be fragile when expectations, desires and reality do not mesh.

So I think that sometimes it is complicated to separate sex and love because of the above dynamics of relationships. People assume it can be done - and it can, but we don't always figure in that the unexpected can happen when we also have a LT relationship to consider. :(

I think people have been asking the same question forever and I think the answers will be a little different for everyone. It's a good thing to be careful and determine which rules are going to be kept, and which ones can bend a little.

No Comment!

hmmmmmmmm

When I was younger I found it so hard to accept the fact that having sex does not mean that men are ready to have you as their parter. Now its easier for me as I have grown matured over the years of trials and tribulations. I believe it has something to do with knowing your value. Trust me if you know what you are worth you wont let yourself be in a relationship like that. But then again if you want to have that kind of set up it also works as long as you don't get emotions get in the way.

Is'nt it better to just have fun together rather than making it a point to B in a relationship? I'd much rather B seen as a friend; I see the lady as a friend & equal.

in my own opinion you are in a no win situation.i have friends that is in the same situation as u do and ends up crying in the end, coz the guy would always choose his family first,..so its just lust

I've been in a relationship of sorts with my working partner Mandy for over a year but she is moving on and is going to marry a client of hers (andactually of mine lol I fucked him first!)...so I'm a little on the rebound so to speak and in all my years of working, I've never really dated a male except for little let's grab a movie things with co-workers at my day job.

About a month ago and older but not ancient guy in my office started saying hello when he would walk by my cubicle..just chit chat a bit and we would office flirt. Shortly thereafter I was out on a cigarette break and sitting near the fountain outside my building and he wondered by and sat and we chatted and it was very pleasant. He didn't stalk me or anything like that but unless I have a noon "date" bj somewhere I just go to an outdoor spot and have coffee and smoke during lunch and pretty soon he would pop over and join me to the point where two weeks ago I went by his office and just asked if he were free we could walk during lunch and window shop. 'that led to a dinner date and a museum and a gallery opening yada yada.

I met him for a late movie last night (after seeing 2 clients mind you) so I was in something of an "afterglow" state of mind and he invited me to his place for coffee. I went out on his terrace so I could smoke and he came up behind me and put his arm around me himstanding behind me...and instinct took over cause I moved his hand to my breasts and reached behind to stroke him...long story I know...but I just slipped into my escort mode without even thinking about it.

Long story short we fucked like rabbits for a long time and he of course noticed when it came time for a trip to greece that that boat had sailed twice before earlier in the evening which, along with my "g" panties, no bra and pretty violent rubbing myself while I was sucking him off...I think he got the message.

Now I'm up at 230 on sunday night writing this about working girls and relationships and full of anxiety about work tomorrow and being found out. I like him a lot but am not falling inlove or anything. but it gets complicated.

I was advised/warned NOT to become nvolved w/my provider & to see her as just a friend/SP & nothing more; having been married B4 & been hurt & humiliated by my wife, there's NO way that I'd EVER consider either dating/marriage again...dating/marriage is UNTHINKABLE! So to ANY SP, all I can say is that I see U as a friend, equal partner, & SP...not as a life partner as escorting is JUST a business & NOTHING more!

Well, as for me, getting into relationship should be made by time and effort.

For a quick fix, itll be easy. Just a money deal.

For relationship, he needs to court me long enough for me to know his real intentions are.

fucking and making love are 2 diffrent words. a simple indication for me when it comes to love making is "the guy still interested in you after cumming ?" or he wants to go out the door after fucking us for his own satisfaction." if he ends up still hugging u in bed then it possible for a relationship but if not. forget it. but sometimes there is some type of men who pretend they want relationship just to get free sex all along the way.