Forum - Love or Money...

I've read a very wise comparison. It was said that money is just a universal instrument, so the best way to perceive it is like if it was a spade or a hammer. Have you ever met anyone who loved or hated hammers? Or maybe you know a person who craves for spades? You'd say they are mentally ill! :-)

Never heard of that one before; but it is very good comparison kotikkk. Money is just something we all need in order to survive off of throughout life no matter what we do. Just like we all have to have a hammer to fix things or to build things with; money is a useful tool as well to pay bills with and buy the things we need everyday. The only thing is that in a relationship; money has to be discussed and thought about carefullly before getting into more serious relationship. Not only love; but money can make or break a relationship over time. When there is no money to pay off debts and bills; it puts a big strain on any relationship basically. It's very hard to live without money in order to pay bills and for everyday use; and it's also very hard to live without love as well because we all need love. So, there has to be a balance of each one of them. Thanks again kotikkk for your comparison! Very good one as well! I hope you have a very good weekend babe!
Peace&Kisses,
12pleaseu

Very good! I have heard something like this.
12pleaseu have you really had your relationship once broken because of money? I believe it is very bad experience if so.

Ok maybey this is me but i know first hand that when you fall in love everythings great...but then ...you have kids you get bills daily in the mail and without money to make sure everything stays balenced and keeps everyone happy things start to part you(my parents hate eachother now) is now the fact that money and love actually go hand in hand...because without money...its a battle each and every day with your spouse.

Yes, Letusdoit; I have had quite a few relationships in the past that were good at first and then, turned bad because the persons didn't want to be of any help to me in the relationship and it was all one-sided. Basically, I was the one taking on all the responsibility of finances and everything. Those times were very unpleasant for me. You know what though, I picked myself back up and kept on going with my life. It's not good to fight over money and things because there is more to life than just things and money. Money definately pays the bills and all and yes, money and love relationships go hand in hand together because there has to be a level of responsibility on each person involved in a relationship. I finally did get over a lot of the hurt and problems with fianances in past relationships and I decided to make the best of life whether I have a lot of money or a little money. Life is definately what you make it each day. Each day is a new day to decide to keep going and perservering through everything and that's what I know I can do. I hope everyone has fun and is blessed in their lives!
Peace&Kisses,
12pleaseu

East/ West
Love is silent/ Love is vocal
Marry first, then love/ Love first, then marry
Ideal: love of life/ Ideal: being successful
Wealth or poverty: results of fortune/ Wealth or poverty: results of
enterprise
Accept what is/ Seek change
Value rest and relaxation/ Value activity
Learn to do with less material assets/ Attempt to get more of everything
Retire to enjoy the gift of one's family/ Retire to enjoy the rewards of one's
work

East and West differences.
It depends from where you look at it

Some interesting observations.

What do you mean by "Love is silent" in the East, but "Love is vocal' in the West?

Thanks for contributing your thoughts. +1

Lea07, thanks for this these thoughts to meditate upon!
In fact, I see that I tend to integrate both East and West in my life. Perhaps, intercultural communication makes both approaches available and they somehow melt together in the modern people...
+2

Dominixe,
We in the East don't say it too often 'i love you', all my ex BF said maybe once a year and they all said 'I don't have to say, I want my actions speak for themselves' or 'I told you already last year'

S.A.
Modern people and smart people take the best features from every culture

I would of vote for you guys but not allowed....

East - passive, accepting
West - active, confronting

Ahhh! You might find it interesting that this is not just an East trait, but common to male/female miscommunication.

Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that there are five love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation (e.g. 'I love you')
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

His observation is that the root of miscommunication between males and females is often because we speak a different love language to each other.

Love doesn't have to be expressed vocally. One of the most moving examples of this is in the death scene of the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. The Chow Yun Fat character dies in the arms of his great love played by Michelle Yeoh (from a poisoned dart). The characters never say 'I love you' either in life or in death, but there is no doubt of the depth of their love in the minds of viewers because they express it powerfully in other ways.

Hi to everyone and yes, I understand and agree on a lot of what you all are saying. The one thing that speaks to my mind and heart is unconditional love for everyone. I have lost loved ones in my life that died and I regret sometimes that I never said how much I loved them. I remember a friend of mine(a guy friend) years ago that was into me and I was into him; but we never really said I love you very much to one another. During the course of our relationship; we argued a lot and we shouted at one another the weekend we broke up. We didn't speak to each other for about a month and then, I found out that he had been in a car accident and was killed. I regretted not calling him while he was alive and at least telling him that I loved him and that we could just live apart from one another. My pride kept me from telling him and I lived for quite a few years with a lot of regret from those last words I had with him. It was tormenting at the time and yes, I finally got through it and went on with my life. It can never hurt to show unconditional love to everyone and to tell them how much you care and or love them. We all are here on this earth for a period of time and I have learned that no matter who we all are or where we all are from; we all want to be cared for, loved, appreciated, respected, and accepted.
I wish you all to have a blessed, peaceful, loving, and prosperous life!
Peace&Hugs,
12pleaseu

Your story is so sad, 12pleaseu! Of course we should say good words to our sweethearts as much as possible, just because bad words "self-say" themselves quite often and without much efforts.

Thank you Kotikkk for your comment. Yes, it was very sad at the time and I learned a very valuable lesson after that event in my life. I learned that I never should take anyone for granted and to have encouraging words for those around me too.
I wish you a blessed week as well!
Hugs,
12pleaseu

Was there anybody to blame for his death? The story is just shocking though death in a car accident is not too exotic, alas...

I'd have to choose money, because I have no idea what love is. I've never been on a date, kissed a woman, had a girlfriend, or had sex...all in the love sense of the word.

I've paid for sex since I was 21, I have no idea what sex is like without paying for it...would I enjoy it more; I have no idea now.