2006
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I get pissed off when the WonderSpouse (aka BigDaddy) tells me that I am gullible. After all, gullible is just another way of saying stupid, right? But it's also another way of saying trusting. It could also be another way of saying that one would rather see the good in people and believe that others are as honest and straighforward as one tries to be.
Unfortunately, every fucking day of my life I am reminded that I am indeed gullible - and not in a good way, either.
So ... if you find that I'm just a bit stand-offish when you come into my home screaming and ranting about the latest unbelievably AWFUL thing that has happened in your life, remember how you completely ignored me when I was upset over a recent offspring related event in my life.
If you ask me to do something - borrow $20, remind you that your car registration is due or have a talk with your lunatic ex - and it seems like I can't find the time, ask yourself what your answer was when I asked you stop by the store and pick me up a loaf of bread on your way home from work.
If you throw two - or ten - extra things to do at me and I don't do them double-time with a smile no matter how long it takes me, as is my normal modus operandi, ask yourself how quickly YOU did the last thing I asked you to do. Or whether you did what YOU PROMISED ME you'd do.
Then back the fuck off me, cuz TheBytch is done rollin' like that.
I'm outie.
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General Blog Category: Relationships, Romance, Love
Current Mood: bitchy
Added on: 01/26/06 10:14
Comments (0)
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"Who's That Girl"
Who's that girl, who's that girl
When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye
She's trouble, in a word get closer to the fire
Run faster, her laughter burns you up inside
You're spinning round and round
You can't get up, you try but you can't
[Chorus:]
Quien es esa nina, who's that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who's that girl
Quien es esa nina, who's that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who's that girl
You try to avoid her, fate is in your hands
She's smiling, an invitation to the dance
Her heart is on the street, tu corazon es suyo
Now you're falling at her feet
You try to get away but you can't
~ Madonna
On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog.
I spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internet, even for a site designer. One of the things that drives me batshit is when I find really great, beautifully designed website that I'd either like to do business with or that I know clients or colleagues would be interested in doing business with. I can find a contact page, but the "About" or "Bio" page is either non-existent or woefully short on information. If I can't get reassurance that the business/person I'm looking at is real, I'm not comfortable and I'll probably move on to the next site that comes up in my search.
Your online bio page is the first impression customers/clients will have of you, it allows you to stand out from someone else who offers the same services you do by concentrating only on YOU. Your online biography should be professional enough to reassure potential clients that you are who you say you are and inviting enough to make them want to call or email you.
When someone visits your website, they're looking for something specific blonde hair, a non-smoker, or someone located nearby. Your main page gets them to your site, now you have to prove that you are who you say you are. If you don't have a really good bio page, chances are you've lost a client. Anyone can slap up a basic website or toss information on sites like Craig's List. Trustworthy providers have to work harder to preserve their reliability. Your bio page is your chance to show that you're real, rather than simply someone who can type a bunch of words into a box and slap the submit button.
Clients trust and NEED - reliability and honesty. They want to know exactly who you are and how willing you are to admit it before they will take a risk on you. How would you describe yourself? Are you a reliable provider, discreet with a sense of adventure? Do you have reviews or other testimonials to your service? Are you well known or new to the area and introducing yourself?
Keep your about page relatively short, around 125-250 words. List accurate contact information. Provide the ever-important stats I've found that a LOT of clients want to know whether or not you're a smoker.
Don't be shy, brag yourself up a little! But remember trust needs to be earned. Clients are smart and they WILL find out if you say one thing and do another. So be honest, the best way to appear reliable is to be reliable.
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General Blog Category: Escort Business
Added on: 01/16/06 07:34
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I just read an entry over at Escort Blogs that made me laugh; then it started me thinking about other things that made me laugh more ... I am obviously out of bed way the hell to early. Anyway, the entry in question referred to a woman's "privates" as a cooter ... bwa-hahahahaha-[s trong]snort[/strong] -ha-ha! That word just cracks my ass [strong]UP[/strong]!
When they were little, my daughter and her cousin (my sister's girl) used to refer to it as their monkey; as in "Pull your dress down, I can see your monkey." I'm pretty sure that was my sister's doing, but it [strong]was[/strong] funny and the way those little girls would fall out when she said it was hilarious.
A customer from my bartending days called it a 'giner. Now, the first time I heard that I didn't ask him what it meant, and since I'd heard only part of the sentence, it was near impossible for me to figure it out for myself. You'd think I was smarter than that, wouldn't ya? Not so much. But when I finally got around to asking him what the word was ... it was worth waiting for. To this day I snorkle and chuckle to myself when I say it -- 'giner.
A hundred years ago - okay, it was more like fifteen or so - a group of us were camping at a bluegrass festival. Yes, camping. Tents, sleeping bags, coolers full of beer ... we used to know how to have fun. It was a three day event and for all intents and purposes, the entire mass of people really WERE the great unwashed - and it wasn't pleasant. But my friend and I, on a beer-hunting trip (not bear hunting - beer hunting) about fifteen miles from where we were camped, had discovered a campground tucked away in the great north woods beneath a humongous statue of Babe the Blue Ox, that featured coin-operated showers. Whee!
Imagine the looks on the faces of the curly-haired old grannies when my friend asked, "Hey, is your muff clean?" Since then, that question has come to mean, "Did you get laid last night?"
"Grumpy Old Men" is funny movie in and of itself, but when Burgess Meredith says "Looks like Chuck's takin' his skinboat to tuna town!..." O.M.G. "Tuna town." I need to rent that movie - today.
There're a BUNCH of 'em here - mostly British, but one of my favorites is "furry bicycle stand", lol.
Well, I'm glad to be back amongst the land of the living. Look for more nonsense and beauty designs from me in the near future.
Love,
Bella
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General Blog Category: Culture and Arts
Added on: 01/08/06 08:31
Comments (5)
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