Article Category: Personal Experiences
Added on: 02/24/08 01:01
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"I think I should be going"
She hears and feels him sigh with disappointment, and forces herself to look him in the eyes when he raises himself onto his elbows.
"Why should you leave?" Caleb asks with obvious frustration.
"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."
He frowns, and she feels like a total bitch, she let him get this far. He knows that you don't want to get back into that lifestyle, but he's pushing you so far after just meeting you..."
He must really feel something for me, right?
"I don't want you to think I'm easy or…….. what should I say?" Just say it, "Whorish."
He smiles, and returns to finish the hickey he had been working on before she hit him with the 'guilty bomb'. "I'm not getting the wrong idea, I just feel so comfortable with you, and I've never been able to warm up to someone so fast!" He rubs his cheek against her own and asks, "What makes you think I'm getting the wrong idea?"
"The third arm in your pants," she says with a smirk, "Or did you think I couldn't notice?"
This time he laughs, and decides to back off for a few minutes.
"I made some cookies, would you like one?" He asks while standing and readjusting himself.
"Sure, but just a small one, I'm still digesting my dinner!"
While he heads to the kitchen to grab dessert, she sits there and contemplates the night.
He must like me in some way if he's acting so forward. Maybe he honestly meant what he said, that he cares about personality, not body type! Quit being so reserved and have some fun! I just don't know what to do when he sees the……
Her thoughts are lost when she hears Caleb walking back down the hall. He appears in the doorway and smiles a little as he hands her a paper plate with a decent sized cookie on it. He sits on the opposite side of the bed and pays complete attention to the movie on his computer monitor as he eats his cookie sloppily. When they both were through eating, she grabbed the plates and threw them away in the kitchen. As soon as she entered the bedroom again Caleb tackled her onto the bed and resumed his relentless teasing.
The night progressed, and he leads her hand to where he so desperately wanted it to be. Although she knows he would only expect more, she pets and strokes, whilst denying him access below her jeans. In response to her denial he removes his own, and once again leads her hand, to which she obliges. After a few moments he moves to her jean fly again, and she denies once more. He begs and pleads for cooperation, and after numerous denials he begins to fumble with the zipper without consent. She begins to panic and resorts to the only method she knew to stop his force, to which he moans and collapses against the mattress.
Boundaries, she had boundaries, and she was at the limit of one. He knew she had these boundaries; they had talked about them on previous occasions, so why was he pushing so hard? After a few minutes of moderate stroking he stopped her hand and removed his boxers, all the while looking in her eyes, not with kindness, not with adoration, but with expectation. Almost with a look that said 'you got me here; don't think you can back out now!' She offers him subtle strokes, but nothing more. After realizing she wouldn't go any further, he took over, pushing her hand away with annoyance.
Should I feel bad? Or relieved?
Once he had settled his urges he got up and clothed himself again, then laid down on the bed and cuddled up to her.
She debated on what to say, and settled with: "Well, I think I should get going home now, it's after 1am!"
Caleb looked at her and said, "You look pretty tired, you should stay here tonight and leave in the morning."
Yeah, right! We both know exactly what that would lead to!
"No, Caleb, I really need to leave, I'll be fine driving home!"
Caleb got up from the bed and walked her to the door, he gave her a kiss and a tight hug and asked that she call him once she got home; to which she agreed.
Once she got in her car she stopped to breathe and debate over what had happened. Grabbing the top of the steering wheel she took a deep breath and surrendered to the world of warfare her conscience always had waiting for her.
What happened in there? He said he has no use for easy girls, he only wants a relationship.
But he was treating you like the town tramp, Mikaila!
NO! Stop it! He said he was just comfortable with me!
No matter what you think, you need to remember why you want to get to know this guy first!
Maybe he just feels like he knows me well already!
Men are able to hurt you Mikaila! Men are able to mold your future, your character; you need to make sure you find men who will be a positive casting! You don't want it to happen again, do you?
She begins shaking, and tightens her grip on the steering wheel. With tearful eyes she glances at her white knuckles, and slowly slips into her past...
----*----
"Oh! Beautiful Mikaila! You sing so well! We're so blessed to have you in our congregation!"
Mikaila looked up from her lap and smiled as Mrs. Jones came walking briskly towards her. In all her short life, Mikaila had never met a person who was more full of joy than Mrs. Jones. Mikaila was 12 now, 3 months from reaching her 13th birthday, and always being heavyset in her childhood, Mikaila had a very mature body and voice for her age. Her mother and brother had been singing in front of the church congregation for a while now, but had noticed Mikaila's own singing ability just a few weeks back. They decided to include Mikaila in the church's valentine's banquet music, and in doing so had set off a chain of compliments for Mikaila and her family.
"Thank you Mrs. Jones." Mikaila said with half the enthusiasm she used to possess for compliments.
Mrs. Jones gave Mikaila a quick, tight hug, "I hear that your parents are leaving on a business trip next month!"
"Yes, yes they are"
"Well sweetie, if you and your brother need company, or a warm home baked meal, then don't hesitate to call me, ok?"
Mikaila nodded her head and gave an appreciative smile, "Thanks for your offer, if we need anything then we'll let you know!"
With a satisfied smile Mrs. Jones turned to go back to the Valentines banquet, unaware of the small miracle her offer had put in motion.
A month went by, and the day had come for Mikaila's parents to leave for their trip. They would only be gone for just over a week, but Mikaila was unprepared for their absence, as all young teens are when their parents take their first leave from home without them.
"I want you to behave, and clean up after yourselves, ok?"
"Yes mom, have fun and don't worry!" Mikaila says through her mother's shirt, as she is given a departing embrace.
"I'll miss you, and I'll call you when I get a chance," Says her mother on the way out the front door, "Behave!"
One last quick wave as the car pulls out and Mikaila is home with her brother for just over a week. The week starts off normal and slow paced, and everything seems like it will go just the same as it always has, until Mikaila and her brother go to their church's youth group on Wednesday night.
Just sitting there was torture. Absolute torture. She could see him out of the corner of her eye, and she always had that tingly feeling when someone was staring at her. Every time she turned to give him the 'I know you're staring, now stop' look, he just smirked back and kept staring.
Kyle Strauten was the youth pastor's son, and because of his preppy look and superior personality, everybody loved him. He also had movie star looks and beautiful ocean eyes that added to his social magnetism. He was always nice to Mikaila, and because of this she had a small crush on him, but she was smart enough to keep it small, a guy like Kyle would never be interested in someone like her.
Even though Mikaila felt flattered by his captivated staring, she was also getting very annoyed. This staring disorder seemed to have affect over Kyle the entire night, and when the youth group meeting had finished Mikaila tried to hurry for the door; the last thing she wanted was to talk to Kyle while feeling so agitated.
Sure enough, she hadn't even made it to the gym doors before she felt a strong hand on her shoulder and heard his deep, melodic voice.
"Where's the fire Miki?" She heard him ask, and even though she wanted to get away as fast as possible, she found herself turning around to answer his question.
She opened her mouth to give a sarcastic reply, but lost all thought when she looked at his face. He wasn't glancing around at all the other group members playing basketball, or watching the other girls' gossip while they wagged their hips and pouted their faces. No, he was staring at her again, only a foot or so away this time. She looked into his eyes and lost her breath. His eyes were so full of emotion; interest, compassion, friendship, and they were so beautiful, a deep shade of sky-blue with grey lining the pupils. But there was something else in those eyes, something that wasn't quite right. Perhaps uneasiness or maybe self doubt? Mikaila couldn't grasp the awkward emotion, but it didn't matter, she couldn't breathe and had to be turning blue by now.
She looked down, and her eyes wandered over to his hand on her upper arm. His hands and forearms were well defined with muscle tone, and he had the perfect amount of hair on his skin. Mikaila finally took a deep breath and reveled in Kyle's scent. He smelled like fresh cut grass after a spring shower, and she would never forget that smell, no matter how hard she tried.
There must have been an awkward look on her face because Kyle removed his hand quickly after she had steadied herself.
"Sorry, didn't mean to invade your space!" Kyle said with an apologetic grin.
"No…….no, you're fine…, I mean, its fine……., really." Mikaila said without making eye contact. Dear God, if I look him in the eyes I'll faint! C'mon Mikaila, you can at least look the poor guy in the face, he stopped you for a reason, didn't he?
Mikaila took another breath and looked him straight in the eyes, "What's up?"
What's up? Jesus Mikaila! Quit being so childish! Who says 'What's up' anymore?
Kyle smiled this time, a huge smile that was totally unexpected, but the smile made him even more gorgeous in Mikaila's eyes.
"Well, Miki, I was wondering if you were going to be home later tonight."
Mikaila frowned, but answered honestly. "Well, yeah, I'll be home later, my brother is going to go hang out with his girlfriend after he drops me off."
"Oh, okay, well, I was wondering if I could call you or something, y'know...to talk."
Oh wow, now he's blushing, if he gets any more attractive I think I'll faint!
"Um, sure, you can call; I don't have a pen or pap…"
"I already have your number; I've been staring at it for the last week. I just wasn't sure if I needed your permission to call…… y'know, you might think it was rude…" He was moving around now, shifting his feet back and forth, using a lot of hand and head movements.
Is he nervous talking to me? ME? How could the most handsome, popular guy I've ever met be nervous talking to someone like me?
"Ok, um, well I'll be home after 9pm, if you feel like calling then that's fine!"
Kyle smiled again and seemed ecstatic, "Ok, awesome, great, I'll call you later then, ok?"
"Ok, I'll talk to you then."
"Awesome, can't wait!" And with that he turned on his heel and walked back to his fathers meeting room.
Ok, um, wow, this is an odd situation. I wonder what he needs to talk about…
And with that thought bouncing around in her head the whole way home, Mikaila was exhausted by the time her brother dropped her off. Who knew that mental debate was so tiring?
She went inside the house and changed into her pajamas. When she looked at the clock it read 8:51pm. With a little time to spare she decided to make something to eat, and nervously waited for the phone call that would change her life.
~Still in Progress~
About the author:
I'm writing an autobiography... it should be grand!
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